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This like no other is one of those moments where you stop and realize how far you have come.
Being blessed with a large bottom and hips as I gained more and more weight the first thing to be a struggle was seats, seats with arms, any type of buckle, belt or safety restraint.
A month ago I was driving home and was having a great day. I got one of my sparks again... and thought to myself ... "maybe I can finally fit in the seat belt."
For countless years, I was ultimately breaking the law because to hook the seat belt was a challenge upon challenges. If I did get it hooked, it was either cutting off my air supply at my neck or it was so tight against my belly when the breaks were locked I felt like it was going to sever my torso.
So I gave up trying...
A few years back we were driving through another area, many police officers around and I tried to quickly lock it in. I couldn't... no matter how hard I tried, I even had my best friend try to help.
It wouldn't reach - it was missing by several inches.
The embarrassment was great when one of them pulled the car over for a recent crack in the windshield. He questioned my seatbelt and I had to point at my stomach.
He nodded, understood politely but honestly I was ashamed.
Like any other thing, I dusted it off and went on with my trip...
Writing these blog entries I realized how many times in my life I did that, learn to "dust off".
So much so I think I was ignoring my unhappiness.
ANYWHO... lets get back to now... So where was I? ...
My epiphany... "maybe it would finally fit again."
I pulled over at a gas station, I attempted.
I took a deep breath and told myself no matter what happens you are doing great...
I reached behind me... pulled it over, and "click"
It's not the most comfortable and I have no idea if this is the standard belt in every car....
but that doesn't matter... the same seat I drive in daily I can finally take the precautions I need.
I certainly don't have to pretend anymore, ya know do the wrap over my shoulder to "look" like the belt is hooked.
I can actually put on my seatbelt.
Just another moment, I am internally grateful.
I did let one tear fall, that tear however wasn't pity or shame. This time the tear was pure accomplishment.
Thank you for all your support as always. You guys are my rock stars!
I hope this message finds you well.
Laughter, Love & Light,
Steph
